i have a lot of words to say about this movie, but all of them have already been said. repulsive, satirical, and devastating. what a film.

what unlimited mitosis does to a woman

A brutal dose of body dysmorphia! The film nailed it, constantly focusing and showcasing the most minute pores of the skin and uglyfying the most mundane parts of the body. The boomy sound design and the two perfectly casted and acted leads did their jobs so well. And it was definitely a choice to keep driving the point long after it had already been made! Makes sense for the gorefest and the ending but easily could’ve trimmed down a good 30 mins.

i kept getting annoyed and pissed off during the viewing of this that i had to keep taking notes to make sure i remembered it towards the end. i don't think this is worthy of a proper review nor a funny pun one so I'll just copy paste some loose thoughts I had: <blockquote>"Visually & styleistically similar to last season of American Horror Story (the one with Kim K).. I think maybe I enjoyed that more though, despite the season being.. bad</blockquote> <blockquote>This is like Barbie but for horror enjoyers (meant as an insult, obviously. I hated Barbie) </blockquote> <blockquote>I knowwwww contemporary horror reflects the fears of the time but I'm so tired of women's fear of aging. I already got tired of this shit before everyone was raving about <i>X</i> two years ago. It's been several years already of naked old horror hags dominating our screens. ENOUGH. </blockquote> <blockquote>Showing us the really obvious, with flashbacks, because of course a really big birthmark isn't enough for us in the stupid audience to pay attention and understand what's going on. Jesus Christ. </blockquote> <blockquote>Pays homage to plenty of better movies and stories Makes it seem like an even worse movie."</blockquote> I don't really wanna get into it more than that. I had high hopes for this cause the trailer looked cool and everyone loved this (????). I have to admit I was super excited until I also saw two YouTube accounts I follow post .. critiques against the movie. I didn't watch either of them, as I wanted to see the movie myself, but judging by the title of those videos I found out this was gonna be a hagploitation movie with... Barbie feminism, which, y'know, I despise with all my being. Did gender studies ruin my enjoyment of contemporary "feminist" film? Maybe. But maybe Hollywood needs to stop thinking this shit is radical and new and saying something. I don't know. I don't wanna think about this movie much longer lol (Not that I have to source it or anything for my review, since I haven't even watched them myself, but if you want to watch the videos I mentioned that showed up in my feed: <a href="https://youtu.be/-kARVRt-p6w?si=_4SfQEeAgwf0wC-w">Hag Horror: Why are we so afraid of old women?</a> & Jordan Theresa's "I don't know how to feel about The Substance" (can't link it for some reason)

Just… what do you even say. Paused multiple times just to take a moment and my girlfriend (who wasn’t watching) asks, “what’s happening?” Great question I couldn’t explain what’s on my screen if I tried. Firmly believe this film would kill anyone over the age of 70 if they watched it.

wtf

this is what i used to think about when i listened to mr. potato head by melani martinez when i was 15

A difficult watch and I don't think I'll ever rewatch it. Disgusting and graphic scenes. But I still give it 4 stars. I thought it was an original story and I really liked the commentary on beauty standards.

As new trends around the "trad wife" lifestyle emerge seemingly every day, <i>The Substance</i> presents itself as a feminist body horror film tackling aging, female self-image, and societal expectations of women. However, it ultimately contradicts its own message and becomes the very thing it's supposed to hate. If aging isn’t something to fear, why are signs of it treated as jump scares every 20 minutes? If an old woman isn’t meant to be terrifying, why is she used as a gore trigger? If we’re supposed to look beyond the body, why are we never given access to Elizabeth’s inner world? If exploitation of women is an immoral practice, why is hagsploitation normalized? And if empathy is the film’s suggested solution, why does it indulge in voyeuristic gazes, catering to the very objectification it claims to critique? × <b>Best Line</b>: Control Yourself!

put that thing in a room with the alien romulus baby

Generation gap on steroids

they really need better quality control at the Michael's Secret Stuff factory

Burrona ela ter tomado a substância, afinal, ela não vivia o corpo jovem, ela não tinha a consciência da outra, ou seja, tudo foi em vão...tirando o fato de que para ela continuar a ter fama e ser amada ela precisava da Sue. Então virou uma necessidade.

purrr hot

Oh, see, I'd be screwed because those instructions just weren't clear enough.  The only reason I'm not rating it higher is because I can simply <i>never</i> watch this again

dar uma estrela seria muito exagero da minha parte pois a demi e margareth arrasaram em seus devidos papéis (1 estrela pra cada). porem que filme LONGO e massante meu deus. com 1h e meia eu ja sentia que o tinha que acabar e sinceramente quem comparou isso com o choque de assistir titane recomendo assistir de novo porque nem se compara, me deu até vontade de aumentar minha nota dele. e tipo assim, so fica chocado com as coisas que acontecem quem nunca assistiu men, cisne negro, death becomes her e dual. analisando esses que acabei de citar da pra notar que de original não tem muita coisa. o tiktok vai acabar com a minha felicidade algum dia pois esse e cuckoo foram minhas maiores decepções esse ano e ambos a comunidade lá fez parecer que eram grandes filmes.

Le film critique la société : les stéréotypes des femmes (beau corps, doivent sourire, doivent satisfaire les hommes), les hommes riches qui peuvent tout faire sans qu’ils soient juger, le désir de célébrité/ d’être célèbre qui monte à la tête, le désir de beauté « absolu » (qui coche toute les cases pour plaire à tout le monde), etc… De plus, on ne s’attend pas à ce que ce soit un film d’horreur, cette force devient vite sa faiblesse. Pour moi, je m’attendais à maximum un thriller et donc la deuxième partie du film (plutôt la fin) je l’ai pas vraiment comprise. C’était très chaotique et certaines scènes écœurant. C’est pourquoi, j’aurais préféré savoir en amont que c’était un film d’horreur ou SF (ouais j’avoue fallait que je regarde). Bref, dans l’ensemble le film est vraiment très bien, j’ai bien aimé le jeu de dissociation (les palmiers par exemple). Ou encore les lettres qui sont écrites au futur au passé, mais jamais au présent, signifiant qu’elle n’accédera jamais à la réussite.

The body horror effects in there were bonkers. Despite the long run time, it really held up.

It's a freak! Shoot the monster!!

Someone fell in love...