Bad

Timeless movie and I love seeing New York.

Watched with Jay and Izzy.

[3.3/10] The rap on 2015’s *The Force Awakens* -- the first installment in the new *Star Wars* trilogy, was that it was too derivative of *A New Hope*, too much just following in its predecessor’s footsteps, too devoted to recreating that old blueprint rather than fashioning a new one. God help any folks who felt that way who dared to watch *Home Alone 2*. This sequel is a carbon copy of the original, not merely content to offer the same basic story in a new setting, but almost impressively slavish in how it recreates the prior film, beat-for-beat, with only the faintest changes to make it feel like anything other than a cheap cash-in. It’s a little tough to remember when middle installments like *The Empire Strikes Back* and *The Dark Knight* and *Winter Soldier* are considered the peaks of their respective franchises that sequels were once considered shameless money grabs. But after watching this dross, which barely qualifies as a pallete swap of its predecessors, it’s easy to understand why folks of the time were skeptical of any cinematic follow-ups. Returning writer John Hughes and returning director Chris Columbus can, perhaps, be forgiven for replicating the same basic outline from the first installment. In *Lost in New York*, as in the original, Kevin has an incident that isn’t fully his fault but which leaves his entire family mad at him. He wishes to be apart from his family, gets separated from them, and after some misadventures, wishes he could be with them once more. In the midst of all this, someone who initially seems scary turns out not only be nice, and to provide an opportunity for a mutual exchange of wisdom, but also saves the day when Kevin is cornered. And, naturally, Kevin concocts any number of traps to fell his nigh-witless attackers in Looney Tunes fashion. If the similarities stopped there, maybe *Home Alone 2* could be forgiven as a film sticking to the general formula of its nascent franchise, even if it didn’t really advance the ball from the prior outing. But it doesn’t. Instead, *Lost in New York* finds every, lazy opportunity to simply copy what it did before with only the slightest hint of variation or evolution. Does someone suspect that Kevin is without adult supervision? No matter, he’s back using marionette strings and a misleading silhouette to create the deception. Is a cadre of antagonists onto him? Not to worry. He’s able to make a great escape, and then scare them off with a selectively-played old movie replete with the trademark “filthy animals” line. There is the famous scream, the shock of realization from Mrs. McCallister, and even the same two burglars from the first movie. That’s right, by some incredible coincidence, not only is Kevin once again separated from his family, but he runs into the same dopey team of Harry and Marv, who are on the lam and itching for revenge. It is, perhaps, a bit churlish to complain about the powers that be finding a way to bring Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern back into the fold, but as able as the pair are, it’s just another indication of the complete and total lack of imagination this film has relative to its forebear. Indeed, there’s very few positive things in this film, but they tend to center on those scant few elements that are genuinely new for the franchise. Chief among them is Tim Curry as a malcontent hotel manager who has it out for Kevin from the moment he sees him. From a brilliant match cut between Curry and The Grinch sporting the same grin, to Curry’s ability to show the contempt behind the plastic smile, to his genteel but malevolent presence, he’s really the only major new aspect of this flick beyond its setting, and he stands out as the most enjoyable thing in it. The rest of the film is not entirely without its charms. John Williams’s score is, as always, a boon to the picture, creating a sense of energy and emotion the film doesn’t otherwise earn. Rob Schneider, of all people, is a greater-making presence here, with his semi-smarmy, semi-clueless bellhop adding some flavor to the proceedings. And while often used in a cheesy fashion, *Home Alone 2* does take advantage of its gothamite setting, with sweeping shots and montages across the city that provide pleasant snapshots, even if they also reveal the film as one big advertisement for specific hotels, sodas, and travel destinations. The problem is that Hughes and Columbus think that shift in backdrop is all they needed to change in order to update the old script. *Home Alone 2* feels like a madlibs version of the original *Home Alone* movie. Rather than resolving to defend his home; Kevin resolves to defend...his uncle’s home. Instead of teaching his faux-scary acquaintance about the power of family, he teaches them the value of opening their heart. Instead of wishing to be back with his mom, he wishes to be back...with his mom. There’s no beat too minute for *Home Alone 2* not to photocopy with hardly an alteration. That might work if the film could maintain even a hint of the earned sentiment of its precursor. The turtledove-accented lesson on friendship is bland pablum that doesn’t really connect to Kevin’s clumsy arc in *Home Alone 2* the same way that the prior film’s message of maturity and family did. The resolution to help sick kids on X-mas feels like a cheap way to attempt to gin up some sentiment and sense of selflessness in Kevin that’s barely established. And the film leans into a mother and child connection that’s underfed and thus underwhelming in the final tally. The biggest problem in *Home Alone 2* is how its “monkey see, monkey do” approach to making a movie makes its emotional points come off jumbled and miscalibrated, because they’re borrowed from another flick and don’t really fit the situation presented. Throw in the fact that the already cartoony violence is longer and more over the top, the pacing of the film drags and drags, and you get a cheap, patience-testing, waste of a sequel. Each new bonk on the head and underwhelming slapstick setpiece just gives the viewer more time to contemplate the fact that if you lose your kid once, maybe it’s just a fluke, but if you manage to do it twice within a little more than a year, you’re probably not the best parent. *Home Alone 2* is little more than a watered down, less-effective version of the first *Home Alone* movie with a new coat of paint. Even the great fundamentals of the original script, the return of principal creatives like Hughes, Columbus, and Williams, and most of the cast of the last flick reprising their roles alongside great additions like Curry, cannot save this soulless rehash from needing to be dumped in the Hudson River and never brought to light again.